...if I did not have to work. It would be much better if money is not needed to experience the simplest pleasures in life, say travelling. Sometimes i do not get the idea that we have to work to earn income, just to spend it, and then earn it back. Won't be so simple if we did not have to pay for anything we want?
In other words, won't it be uber cool if money is non-existent? Wishful thinking, I know, but hey its my world.
I don't really have anything to complain and whine about actually. The world i live in is already a comfy place. With willow trees, my own creation of fictional characters playing around in Victoria's Secret Garden, and the smell of pear glace attracting the butterflies flying around so freely.
I would be extremely happy if people do not chase for material things to content them. I do not yearn to own expensive things or live lavishly, i just want the simplest things in life to make us happy. Somehow or rather, this contentment is something i do not feel 24/7. It would be really amazing if i could be forever thankful with the things that i have now.
My world would be so much better if i could sit back and learn how to appreciate these little happy things that people tend to forget.
Like playing with your hamster, laughing at her silly antics and pet her to sleep.
Lke walking in the rain, drenching yourself while crossing the road.
Like playing online games with friends, discussing about killing zombies and finding ways to complete a stage.
Like having a teh tarik at kgc til the wee hours before being shooed away by the owners.
Like sleeping in on a rainy day with your loved one.
Like loving yourself, growing old but not growing up.
There are so many inexpensive things in life that could make me happy.
I just need to learn to be thankful and my world of fictional characters and victoria's secret garden WILL be the best place on earth.
:)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Mint Chocolate Chip Ice cream on a cone.
I cant really describe what is happening now. It feels wrong but it feels so right at the same time. I know im putting myself in the line of fire, the fear of getting the disagreement nods from others. My mind is wrecked but yet at ease. I dont feel exhausted mentally anymore. I wake up feeling so rejuvenated and alive, like nothing else matters anyway.
I hope to God that this feeling will last, not just another of those phases that I have previously faced. Ive met someone new and really, im loving it.
:)
I hope to God that this feeling will last, not just another of those phases that I have previously faced. Ive met someone new and really, im loving it.
:)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
In my heart, thoughts and prayers.
How To Let Your Ex Go
Most people had relationships in their past that didn't work. Most people have at least one such relationship that is very hard to let go of. This is the one that got away, but shouldn't have. This is the one that felt as if it was meant to be. This is the one that felt like true love yet just would not work. How do you let go of a relationship like this?
When your partner in that relationship was at his or her best, he or she met all of your needs. He or she was the perfect fit for you. If he or she could have been that way with you 100% of the time, rather than just sometimes, you would be in the relationship still. The times he or she was everything you needed are hard to let go of. You have been looking for that kind of love all of your life.
Here was a person who could meet your needs the way you have always wanted. You knew he or she could, because sometimes he or she did. But he or she wouldn't. You wanted to make, force, remind or talk him or her into it. You did everything possible to make him or her be the way you wanted 100% of the time. You may have asked him or her to go to therapy. You used all of the tricks in the book you could come up with to evoke the behavior you wanted.
Finally you left the relationship. You knew you deserved better than just some fraction of what you wanted. But the attachment to your ex lingers. It lingers because you never succeeded in making him or her fulfill your needs completely. It feels as if you failed. You feel that somehow not getting what you wanted was your fault. If you were only good enough your ex would have given you the love you wanted, all of the time. After all, he or she did give it to you some of the time.
It is not easy to move on to another relationship after such an experience. It is not easy to attract love, or give your heart to someone new. It is hard to believe you will have such love and passion with anyone else. At the same time, it is hard to trust that you will somehow avoid hurt the next time around.
Another thing that keeps you hooked into that relationship is anger. Anger arises when someone has something you want but won't give it to you, especially when the giving of the thing would seem to be the natural or the expected thing to do. You are justified in being angry, yet anger is a way to stay connected to someone, albeit not a positive way.
There is another reason why it's hard to let go of the relationship that got away. The person you were in love with truly had great qualities. With him or her you had an incredible connection. Maybe he or she loved you intensely. He or she may still love you. The only problem in the relationship was that he or she could only treat you well part of the time. The rest of the time, he or she acted hurtfully towards you. It is very difficult to throw away this type of connection. And it is more difficult still when you interact with the wonderful, caring side of him or her. Having to walk away from such a relationship can be the hardest thing you will ever do. Even when you walk away it may still pull at your heart.
It is so much easier to let go of someone when it is clear he or she doesn't care about you. It may even be easier to let go of someone who dies, because there is nothing that can be done. But to let go of someone who is well and alive and loves you is an incredible task. Yet let go you must if the partner you are clinging to is not willing to meet your needs. If you are ever to be fulfilled in any relationship, you must let go completely of this past partner. So how do you do this? How do you let go of the living, breathing former partner who may love you, or whom you may love, and yet who is not good for you? How do you let go of the one who seems to have been the one?
The first step is to understand that your partner would have given you the moon and the stars if he or she could have. Even when he or she appeared to be holding back or hurting you on purpose, he or she was always doing the best he or she could. Understand that he or she never intentionally hurt you.
To let go of your past relationship, you will first need to forgive your ex, forgive yourself, and understand that his or her behavior was not your fault. Understand that all that he or she did, the good and the bad all together, comprise the totality of this person. Sometimes he or she was wonderful and sometimes he or she was horrible. And all of the time he or she was the person you cared for.
There is no way you could only have his or her good side. Because you were connected to the whole person, you had to experience the bad side as well. His or her bad side was hurtful, and in the end the bad outweighed the good. Since the bad side was a part of the package and could not be changed, the whole package had to go.
Secondly, do something to honor and cherish the true connection between the two of you. In fact, you may need to honor that connection for a long time. There was a wonderful part of him or her, a loving and nurturing part. There was love for you; there may still be love for you. You may always love that part of your ex.
How do you honor the connection to your ex? Honor your love and connection in prayer, in your heart, in your thoughts, and in your actions. Use the gift of the connection as an inspiration to find more of that kind of love in your future partners.
When you are ready, send thoughts of peace, healing, and joy to your ex whenever thoughts of your past relationship cross your mind. Whenever you miss him or her, send him or her your love. In this way you can still love him or her, while keeping your distance and protecting yourself from his or her hurtful behavior.
You may be hesitant to do this. You may be afraid that it will make you go back into the relationship with your ex. But understand I am not saying your ex-partner will change and become more of what you wanted. Most likely, your ex will remain exactly as he or she is, at least as far as you are concerned.
The reason to honor your connection is not to somehow bring your ex-partner back. Instead, by honoring the good of the relationship, you become free of the anger you feel towards him or her. By honoring the gifts he or she gave you, instead of focusing on what he or she did not give you, you will begin to feel peace and gratitude.
Remembering that your ex came as a complete package, combining the very good with the intolerably bad, will give you the strength to not go back into that relationship. And freeing yourself of anger at your ex will give you the ability to move on and deeply love another person.
If you need help: If you are having trouble letting go of a relationship, I can help you in a private Advice & Coaching Session. I guarantee that you will experience more peace and clarity, and less attachment towards your ex.
By:
Love Coach Rinatta Paries
Most people had relationships in their past that didn't work. Most people have at least one such relationship that is very hard to let go of. This is the one that got away, but shouldn't have. This is the one that felt as if it was meant to be. This is the one that felt like true love yet just would not work. How do you let go of a relationship like this?
When your partner in that relationship was at his or her best, he or she met all of your needs. He or she was the perfect fit for you. If he or she could have been that way with you 100% of the time, rather than just sometimes, you would be in the relationship still. The times he or she was everything you needed are hard to let go of. You have been looking for that kind of love all of your life.
Here was a person who could meet your needs the way you have always wanted. You knew he or she could, because sometimes he or she did. But he or she wouldn't. You wanted to make, force, remind or talk him or her into it. You did everything possible to make him or her be the way you wanted 100% of the time. You may have asked him or her to go to therapy. You used all of the tricks in the book you could come up with to evoke the behavior you wanted.
Finally you left the relationship. You knew you deserved better than just some fraction of what you wanted. But the attachment to your ex lingers. It lingers because you never succeeded in making him or her fulfill your needs completely. It feels as if you failed. You feel that somehow not getting what you wanted was your fault. If you were only good enough your ex would have given you the love you wanted, all of the time. After all, he or she did give it to you some of the time.
It is not easy to move on to another relationship after such an experience. It is not easy to attract love, or give your heart to someone new. It is hard to believe you will have such love and passion with anyone else. At the same time, it is hard to trust that you will somehow avoid hurt the next time around.
Another thing that keeps you hooked into that relationship is anger. Anger arises when someone has something you want but won't give it to you, especially when the giving of the thing would seem to be the natural or the expected thing to do. You are justified in being angry, yet anger is a way to stay connected to someone, albeit not a positive way.
There is another reason why it's hard to let go of the relationship that got away. The person you were in love with truly had great qualities. With him or her you had an incredible connection. Maybe he or she loved you intensely. He or she may still love you. The only problem in the relationship was that he or she could only treat you well part of the time. The rest of the time, he or she acted hurtfully towards you. It is very difficult to throw away this type of connection. And it is more difficult still when you interact with the wonderful, caring side of him or her. Having to walk away from such a relationship can be the hardest thing you will ever do. Even when you walk away it may still pull at your heart.
It is so much easier to let go of someone when it is clear he or she doesn't care about you. It may even be easier to let go of someone who dies, because there is nothing that can be done. But to let go of someone who is well and alive and loves you is an incredible task. Yet let go you must if the partner you are clinging to is not willing to meet your needs. If you are ever to be fulfilled in any relationship, you must let go completely of this past partner. So how do you do this? How do you let go of the living, breathing former partner who may love you, or whom you may love, and yet who is not good for you? How do you let go of the one who seems to have been the one?
The first step is to understand that your partner would have given you the moon and the stars if he or she could have. Even when he or she appeared to be holding back or hurting you on purpose, he or she was always doing the best he or she could. Understand that he or she never intentionally hurt you.
To let go of your past relationship, you will first need to forgive your ex, forgive yourself, and understand that his or her behavior was not your fault. Understand that all that he or she did, the good and the bad all together, comprise the totality of this person. Sometimes he or she was wonderful and sometimes he or she was horrible. And all of the time he or she was the person you cared for.
There is no way you could only have his or her good side. Because you were connected to the whole person, you had to experience the bad side as well. His or her bad side was hurtful, and in the end the bad outweighed the good. Since the bad side was a part of the package and could not be changed, the whole package had to go.
Secondly, do something to honor and cherish the true connection between the two of you. In fact, you may need to honor that connection for a long time. There was a wonderful part of him or her, a loving and nurturing part. There was love for you; there may still be love for you. You may always love that part of your ex.
How do you honor the connection to your ex? Honor your love and connection in prayer, in your heart, in your thoughts, and in your actions. Use the gift of the connection as an inspiration to find more of that kind of love in your future partners.
When you are ready, send thoughts of peace, healing, and joy to your ex whenever thoughts of your past relationship cross your mind. Whenever you miss him or her, send him or her your love. In this way you can still love him or her, while keeping your distance and protecting yourself from his or her hurtful behavior.
You may be hesitant to do this. You may be afraid that it will make you go back into the relationship with your ex. But understand I am not saying your ex-partner will change and become more of what you wanted. Most likely, your ex will remain exactly as he or she is, at least as far as you are concerned.
The reason to honor your connection is not to somehow bring your ex-partner back. Instead, by honoring the good of the relationship, you become free of the anger you feel towards him or her. By honoring the gifts he or she gave you, instead of focusing on what he or she did not give you, you will begin to feel peace and gratitude.
Remembering that your ex came as a complete package, combining the very good with the intolerably bad, will give you the strength to not go back into that relationship. And freeing yourself of anger at your ex will give you the ability to move on and deeply love another person.
If you need help: If you are having trouble letting go of a relationship, I can help you in a private Advice & Coaching Session. I guarantee that you will experience more peace and clarity, and less attachment towards your ex.
By:
Love Coach Rinatta Paries
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Cremation.
7 Months, that was all it took to date someone else. After 3 and a half years of a bittersweet relationship, after saying that no other person is going to make you feel as loved, after all the intimate moments, and all it took was merely 7 months for you to get over it.
WHY AM I ANGRY AT THE SITUATION THEN WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED IT TO END?
I don't know, I can't explain myself anymore. I just feel so betrayed. So stupid for wanting a perfect relationship when i myself cant make it work to perfection.
I am just angry at the fact that you could start to love someone else already. At the fact that you did not wait for at least a year to get over our relationship. At the fact that I am still hoping for myself to change so we could make it better.
At the fact that i still love you.
4 years taken away to realise that I would end up in this sorry state.
So much for the crying and the begging and the promises.
So much for everything.
I have deleted you off from my contact list, from my day and night dreams.
Goodbye, i shall never speak of you again.
That, I promise.
WHY AM I ANGRY AT THE SITUATION THEN WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO WANTED IT TO END?
I don't know, I can't explain myself anymore. I just feel so betrayed. So stupid for wanting a perfect relationship when i myself cant make it work to perfection.
I am just angry at the fact that you could start to love someone else already. At the fact that you did not wait for at least a year to get over our relationship. At the fact that I am still hoping for myself to change so we could make it better.
At the fact that i still love you.
4 years taken away to realise that I would end up in this sorry state.
So much for the crying and the begging and the promises.
So much for everything.
I have deleted you off from my contact list, from my day and night dreams.
Goodbye, i shall never speak of you again.
That, I promise.
I wanna travel,i wanna travel with you.
"Just so you know, I'm dating someone"
My heart broke. Expression changed, mind stopped thinking.
I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like Izy said, "It sucks".
So much for the wishful thinking. So much for thinking that you would probably wait.
Why the foolishness?
I have stopped believing.
Thank you friends, for just being there. For just being the way that you guys are.
Its time to do some soul searching and self reflecting.
But before I do that,
let me just wallow in self pity first.
My heart broke. Expression changed, mind stopped thinking.
I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like Izy said, "It sucks".
So much for the wishful thinking. So much for thinking that you would probably wait.
Why the foolishness?
I have stopped believing.
Thank you friends, for just being there. For just being the way that you guys are.
Its time to do some soul searching and self reflecting.
But before I do that,
let me just wallow in self pity first.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Ramadhan,goodness over evil.
We are already two weeks (almost) into Ramadhan, and the irony of it, I have not felt the Ramadhan spirit yet. It seemed so different these years, now that I am much older. I remember it was not as sombre as this when I was back in primary school or secondary school for that matter. It was much more grandeur and special back then, in which you could feel the joyous spirit and the incredible aura that was spread across the Muslim community.
This year, it feels like I am forced to fast. Like I fast because everyone else is doing it, like the meaning of this pristine month is lost in the wilderness of this modern era. I read up a few articles on Ramadhan, dating back to when it first began, on the reasons why we Muslims should adhere to the one pillars of Islam, it seemed rather intriguing.
As a Virgo, I would always want to find the logical meaning behind every action and so that was why I embarked on this unprecedented journey to find the most logical reasoning.
"O who believe, fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you;perchance you will guard yourselves....The month of Ramadan is the monthin which the Koran was sent down,a guidance for the people,and clear verses of guidance andcriterion. [Quran: Chapter 2, 183] "
In this article, it was cited that Fasting is, among other things, the best way to learn how to attain piety.
I believe Fasting has its unspoken perks, from what I understand, this is the month when we get much closer to GOD and his supremacy, observe closely at the great wonders of the universe and its creations. Pray and listen to his teachings, because we as His humble creatures are the ones who are going to reap the benefits eventually. We are abstained from doing things that are not condoned in his teachings.
But then again, the ultimate motive of reading through the article is to find the logic in fasting.
And i could not find any.
What logic is there starving ourselves from dawn to dusk?
I dont think its much of dieting because in the end, you tend to overeat(mind is saying "you didnt eat the whole day so this is the time for you to feast on good food").
What logic is there when you are specifically instructed to fast because its one of the pillars of Islam?
Because i believe praying 5 times a day is also another pillar that makes you true a Muslim(but how often do you see people religously doing it without complaining of not having the capacity to set aside 5 minutes of his/her time)
What logic is there, contrary to poular belief, that fasting helps you to save money?
You can save money on any other day on any other month. Fasting just prevents you from buying lunch. Then what about the break of fast?
I could not find a good enough logic on why we should really fast. Maybe those who have found them may like to share with me and I am happy enough to listen.
Needless to say, I am not against my own religion or frown upon the act of fasting. In fact I, without any doubt, love this month of Ramadhan. I can boastfully say that its my favourite month out of any other islamic month. I love the spirit and the camaraderie that is established in this month. Knowing that the Muslims across the region break fast at the same time upon hearing the 'azan' (call of prayer), it makes me feel like I belong to the world, like I belong to Allah.
It is my belief and faith in Islam that I fast. It is this faith that supersedes all logical reasons, commands beyond considerable doubts, that I fast year after year since I was about nine.
And without questions i shall continue to fast because as it is,
I live To obey Allah's injunction.
P.S: I will obey the second pillar (praying 5 times a day) when i have it in my heart to fight the demon within me.
:)
This year, it feels like I am forced to fast. Like I fast because everyone else is doing it, like the meaning of this pristine month is lost in the wilderness of this modern era. I read up a few articles on Ramadhan, dating back to when it first began, on the reasons why we Muslims should adhere to the one pillars of Islam, it seemed rather intriguing.
As a Virgo, I would always want to find the logical meaning behind every action and so that was why I embarked on this unprecedented journey to find the most logical reasoning.
"O who believe, fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you;perchance you will guard yourselves....The month of Ramadan is the monthin which the Koran was sent down,a guidance for the people,and clear verses of guidance andcriterion. [Quran: Chapter 2, 183] "
In this article, it was cited that Fasting is, among other things, the best way to learn how to attain piety.
I believe Fasting has its unspoken perks, from what I understand, this is the month when we get much closer to GOD and his supremacy, observe closely at the great wonders of the universe and its creations. Pray and listen to his teachings, because we as His humble creatures are the ones who are going to reap the benefits eventually. We are abstained from doing things that are not condoned in his teachings.
But then again, the ultimate motive of reading through the article is to find the logic in fasting.
And i could not find any.
What logic is there starving ourselves from dawn to dusk?
I dont think its much of dieting because in the end, you tend to overeat(mind is saying "you didnt eat the whole day so this is the time for you to feast on good food").
What logic is there when you are specifically instructed to fast because its one of the pillars of Islam?
Because i believe praying 5 times a day is also another pillar that makes you true a Muslim(but how often do you see people religously doing it without complaining of not having the capacity to set aside 5 minutes of his/her time)
What logic is there, contrary to poular belief, that fasting helps you to save money?
You can save money on any other day on any other month. Fasting just prevents you from buying lunch. Then what about the break of fast?
I could not find a good enough logic on why we should really fast. Maybe those who have found them may like to share with me and I am happy enough to listen.
Needless to say, I am not against my own religion or frown upon the act of fasting. In fact I, without any doubt, love this month of Ramadhan. I can boastfully say that its my favourite month out of any other islamic month. I love the spirit and the camaraderie that is established in this month. Knowing that the Muslims across the region break fast at the same time upon hearing the 'azan' (call of prayer), it makes me feel like I belong to the world, like I belong to Allah.
It is my belief and faith in Islam that I fast. It is this faith that supersedes all logical reasons, commands beyond considerable doubts, that I fast year after year since I was about nine.
And without questions i shall continue to fast because as it is,
I live To obey Allah's injunction.
P.S: I will obey the second pillar (praying 5 times a day) when i have it in my heart to fight the demon within me.
:)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A little something.
"You are longing for a little love and tenderness. At present you are feeling very sensitive and need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. You don't need any further stresses, strains or arguments so take a deep breath and relax.
You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.
At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.
The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence, the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality."
And I shall not deny it.
Go ahead,try it for yourself:
http://goldinuniverse.com/
:)
You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.
At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.
The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence, the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality."
And I shall not deny it.
Go ahead,try it for yourself:
http://goldinuniverse.com/
:)
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